Let me explain a bit more..

A Summary of what has gone before

A life of work at it's very beginning

Previously puppetry perpetuated

The player unkind in his play;

His pleasure measured by the length of my strings

Which were forever knotted, one arm freer then the other

One foot firmly on the ground.

The other skyward following my eyes, and my thoughts..

LJMH Jan 2010

Its odd how much life seems to be controlled. We are always told that we are free people but I have never felt free, I have never felt connected to nature or myself until now.

I left school and went to college without knowing what would be best for me but because I was told that it would be best for me. I went from college to university because I was told that this would be best for me. I dropped out of university and the sheer panic of still not knowing what would be best for me I decided to go back to another university because I belived that getting a degree was the only way forward. I got a degree and then struggled to find a job that would satisfy me so I ended up working in an office which pulled me so far from my beliefs that I didn't recognise myself anymore.

My naiveity kept me doing the things that people told me I should do, but I found a way out and I went wwoofing.

I now feel creative again, I feel passionate again, I feel free. I wrote a poem when I was 19 which still holds true today and I always go back to it. When I forget it my strings have reattached themselves and have probably got really tangled before I realise that has happened.

You are stardust

If you fell into the void,

Still on that sofa

In that pub with that pint.

Move with a speck of light

and find yourself laughing all night

And now the sun is rising

Sit back and breathe

Doze under flowers

Smoke after hours

And wake to feel the same.

LJMH 2002

Stewards Community Woodland

In contrast to Karuna, Stewards Community Woodland is a more established permaculture project in Dartmoor National Park in Devon. The trees are more commanding and fill every space in the sky. I have nothing but admiration for this project, all the dwellings are built from timber sourced from the woods, all the electricity comes from solar and hydroelectric energy. I learnt so much here, loved every moment of it and it was the first place that treated me like a human being and not just a girl fit only for cleaning caravans. The work was hard but the generosity and kindness of all the people that lived there made it all worthwhile.

A Meditation on Tree Felling.

Gigantic pines standing strong in the fight

Against the hungry cross cut saw

But never a sight to be seen as the saw wins once more.

Weaving a dance through the fallen giants

With a robin on my shoulder, blessing each with the scent of white sage

In and out, round and round and back again,

To the waterfall, that holds all the power.

Identifying a wild strawberry plant and

Almost making fire by friction.

The robin pops in to say hello.

A reality, a woodland community, an aspiration.

Trees so tall, so commanding and healing

In and out, round and round and back again,

I’ll follow the tunnel through the web of blackthorn,

Past the jurassic ashes,

And sit in a birds nest with you

To take in the breathtaking view.

Karuna

It was in Karuna that I first felt truly apart of the life we had chosen. The fear and anxiety of untangling the knots had passed and although they still come back periodically to haunt me the serenity of Karuna stays with me also.

Karuna, a permaculture project in Shropshire is full of young life and inspirations. Its creators planted 7000 trees of different varieties four years before on local arable land. From the tallest of their Silver Birches at maybe 10 foot tall to the smallest apple tree saplings, the place has a playfulness to it and the devotion laid upon it is clear to see.

What I learnt at Karuna was to play at all things, to make wines from whatever what abundant in the hedgerows, that elderberries smell like potatoes when covered in hot water, to soak rose hips to release their flavour at least 24 hours before use. I learn to mulch and it induced my need to know about the medicinal value of herbs.

Permaculture is seen as a revolution of gardeners, its about sustainability and creating a low impact self sufficient lifestyle that works with the land it is situated on and not against it. The locals of where Karuna is situated have not taken to Karuna being apart of their community and in protest they have thwarted all planning applications, stolen seed heads and even poisoned their young saplings.

I am not going to dwell on the problems that Karuna are facing but to praise the project for its tranquilty and originality and to wish the creators luck in their future. Please visit their website: http://www.karuna.org.uk/ and read about what they do first hand.

Karuna was the third wwoof host we spent time with, after this we spent more and more of our time in woodlands and we have fallen in love with the woods and all they have to offer. Karuna put us into the right frame of mind for all that followed and our last wwoof host in Kent just before Christmas was a true test of our resilience to living outside with nothing but a bender for shelter and a fire to cook over and warm ourselves by.

Music, Loving, Laughing and Dancing

Last week, whilst enjoying the last few days of 2009, surrounded by four delightful puppies who seemed to grow in intelligence and confidence in the days we were looking after them, I stumbled across my horoscope and its predictions for my decade ahead. I say I stumbled across it, I actively looked for it, skipping almost instantly to the back of the magazine to see what pearls of wisdom it could offer me. The low self-esteem part of my being likes to hear people, albeit voiceless words grouping me with a plethora of others that happen to be born under a certain star, adorn me with advice and compliments.

This particular horoscope offered me the usual advice on money and relationships but its finishing note said that towards the end of the new decade I could start to expect music, loving, laughing and dancing.

Surely I should expect this everyday of my life?

Thankfully I do not take horoscopes as gospel and would will not wallow in the shadows until late 2019 comes about where the gift of music should be bestowed on me but it got me thinking about the last 5 months of 2009 and how I have experienced more music, love, laughter and dance then I have in a long long time.

5 months ago my fiancee and I left our 'ordinary' lives to wwoof around the UK. To 'wwoof' is to volunteer on organic farms, in woodland and permaculture projects in exchange for food and accommodation. We took with us a beautiful big black van full of essential kit, treasured possessions, facilitators of joy and many books. Vanny has served us very well. What I left behind was an admin job in an office which was slowly eating me from the inside out. I don't miss this job. I do miss some of the people I worked with.

So as I sit here in my mum's house on our temporary break from wwoofing as a fresh inch of snow falls each hour. I look forward to the next leg of our adventures and also look back on where we have been.

Here are the stories, the music, love, laughter and dance, the poetry, the aches and pains and the joys of being on the road.